Why do I work?

Sometimes I wonder why Juan and I do the type of work we do. We work long hours, weekends, holidays, 24/7. I come home exhausted with scratch marks, bruises and maybe even some bite marks. Most of the time it seems like the residents hate us as much as we resent the work and the hours. I get paid 9.69 an hour. Yes its work and I am thankful for that. However is my work really only worth that much? On a good day I feel like I am doing good in this world, that I am taking care of these people that would probably be dead without CNA's. But then on a bad day I feel like the world would be just fine without my life. Most of these people would rather be dead. Their family has abandoned them into my arms but they are without anything that previously brought them joy, so what is the point of living? Families rarely visit. Even on birthdays and holidays not every resident will have a visitor. Their family, the ones that they raised and took care of, no longer care. They no longer have their house, their memories, usually they no longer have their mind. Their only worry is if I will lay them down in bed and if the nurse has any cigarettes for them. Why should they go on living? Why should I go on working?
Is it worth it?
Many people I have to do everything for. They can no longer stand so I lift them out of bed and onto the toilet. Many cannot dress themselves so I choose out clothes and dress them. They cannot control their bowels so I clean them up and put a clean brief on them. Their hands cannot grasp so I comb their hair and spray some perfume on them. I then push them to the dining room. They cannot feed themselves so I take the silverware, cut their food and feed them. When they are finished I wipe their face and take them back to their room. They are tired so I lift them back into bed to rest for a bit. On shower days I take them to the shower room, I wash their hair and body, shave their face, put lotion on their skin and redress them. When they get lost and confused I try to comfort them, to be a companion, or a loving hand to hold. Its not always that simple. Some get aggressive when they are confused. They think that you are the enemy, you are trying to hurt them. That is when I get scratched, bit, and bruised. You would be surprised how hard a 90 year old 90 pound lady can grip. I try to just get my job done with the least amount of damage. But it is so frustrating. I am just there to help and to take care of them.


That is my little rant about work for the day. I do have these moments, few and far in between, that make me keep getting up so early and keep me doing my job. A resident will tell me thank you, will give me a hug, or tell me how much they love me. That's what keeps me going.

Last night I surprised Juan with a date to see the Chivas from Guadalajara. They came and played the Real Salt Lake. Juan is from Guadalajara so he was really excited to see the team from his hometown play. He never saw them play in Mexico. It was really really cold but we still had a blast. We thought it was funny that their were more people supporting the Chivas then supporting Real!

Our Little Family!

Back in September we went to the State Fair. I finally uploaded the pictures so I thought I would post a few so you can all meet Jade. Jade is Juan's daughter. She is 3 1/2 years old. She really enjoyed the rides at the fair although I don't think Juan enjoyed them as much! Jade is a very bright girl. When we take her on walks she never gets lost. We even try to confuse her but she always knows which way to go.

I'll give it a try

I've noticed that just about everyone has a blog and I enjoy reading them all. I think I learn alot more about someone then when I am talking to them face to face. Maybe as we are writing the blogs we don't really think about who is going to read it or maybe we just feel more liberated to say what we are really thinking. Anyways I decided I would give it a try.

Juan and I have been married for six months now. I know that nobody really supported our decision. We know we were completely crazy. But it has paid off. We are very happy together and we are enjoying our life together. I am going to school at SLCC. I am taking lots of classes and trying to get through quickly. I plan to go to nursing school and maybe major in math too. Juan is working two jobs right now. He works at Millcreek nursing home and for Millcreek home health and hospice. He is really enjoying the home health. It is a big change from the facilities Juan has worked at for almost the past ten years. I am still working at Willow Wood.

We are excited that this is our last week in debt!!! On friday we will pay everything off except for the house. Thank you to my parents for introducing us to Dave Ramsey!